Thursday, September 24, 2009

Mikalogue: Kit contemplates evil plans

Mika: Is mornin in Mikaland! Feeeed!

Kit: Hmf?

Mika: Wake up, Mikalandians! Feed!

Kit: Don't want to get up. Didn't we just get up yesterday?

Mika: You nick that joke from Alison Bechdel. Stop plagiarising and feed Mika! Make self useful!

Kit: I guess it's time to get out of bed anyway.

Gareth: Is Her Maj at it again?

Kit: Yeah. I think we should stop feeding her the minute we get up; it's only positive reinforcing this habit of waking us.

Mika: Feeeeed!

Gareth: She's pretty clever at this, isn't she?

Kit: Yeah. We took to feeding her when she nagged us to stop positive-reinforcing her scratching the sofa, then we took to feeding her only three meals a day to stop positive-reinforcing her nagging, so now she's spotted that one of her meals comes first thing in the day so she's taken to making our day start as early as she wants.

Gareth: Okay, let's feed her on our way out instead of now.

Mika: Feeeeeeed!

Kit: You know what? She's due a flea treatment. Why don't we grab her while she's in here?

Gareth: Okay, you get the medicine. Come here, Mikatude...

Mika: Hey! Hey! This is not feedin! Hey!

Kit: Come on Mikabee, it's just a little drop on the back of your neck...

Mika: Woe and horridness! Stop it! Stop!!!!

Gareth: There you go, little puss. All done.

Mika: You suck! Mika asks for bread and you give her stone!

Gareth: You really wouldn't like it if you got fleas, darling. Here, let me pet you.

Mika: Oh no, is not fallin for that again. Run away!

Kit: Wow, a respite from the yelling. I wonder if we could do that more often?

Gareth: Hey, don't be mean.

Kit: It's all very well for you, but you can sleep through her yodelling on weekend mornings. I must give this some serious thought. Bwa ha hyawwwn....


  1. ::chuckles:: At least when my son wakes me up in the morning, he asks if I want tea (or, on one memorable occasion, beer).

  2. hapax6:26 pm

    This dialog is further proof that no Evil Villain is not justified in her own mind.

    (verification word: "gnasc", as in "I CAN HAZ MUCH WEEPIN & GNASCIN UV TEEF?"

  3. Amaryllis11:51 pm

    She might not like it, but as far as I'm concerned, that flea medicine is pure magic. One little drop once a month, and it works a million times better than those messy dips and powders and smelly collars that we used to use. Just explain the concept of a "flea bath" to her, and watch her flinch.

  4. Anonymous10:19 pm

    I guess I need to ask you about Mika more often. When she knows she has fans, she gives you more reasons to write about her.


  5. hmmm, post about Mika and comments become a slacktivist reunion.

    What does this mean?

    That Mika has a more interesting internal life and compelling ongoing struggle with the world than do any of the members of the Tribulation Force?


  6. Mika's internal life hollow and empty from lack of food. Tell Kit to get with program.

  7. Oy, Kit, get with the program!

    Right, I have now discharged my duty as a Mika-worshipper. Back to work...