Wednesday, August 26, 2009
Mikalogue of horror
Mika: Never fear, is home! Look what we has here.
Kit: Oh man - Mika, is that a mouse?
Mika: Well done. Gold star for Kit. Now, watch closely.
Mouse: ...much posesed by def and see skul beneaf skin...
Mika: See? Hunts it. You have a go.
Kit: Gareth, we've got another mouse to help!
Mouse: ...there doth sol in holy vision sit, in pensiv trance, and anguish...
Mika: Hm, has stopped moving. Give it a prod, no?
Mouse: ...this sensibl warm motion to becom kneaded clod ... tis too horribl!
Mika: Aha, now it runs! Catch it!
Kit: Mika, leave it alone.
Mika: Gotcha! Go on, hunt it! Bad kitten.
Kit: That's 'Kit', Mika, not 'kitten.'
Mika: Less of cheek or cuff your ear. Pay attention to lesson.
Kit: Mika, are you trying to play mother cat and teach us to catch mice? It isn't going to work.
Gareth: Okay, I've got the catching glass and card. Same drill as before?
Mika: Look, will toss it in air to make more interesting!
Mouse: ...AT UNCERTAIN HOUR AGONY RETURNS...
Kit: Mika stop it, it's squeaking! You're hurting it!
Gareth: I'll just wait till she drops it and it freezes again ... Got it!
Mouse: ...ston walls do not prison make...
Gareth: See, sweetheart? We've captured the mouse in this glass.
Mika: Hey, reality split. Where mousie go?
Gareth: It's right here in the glass, Mika. It's transluscent, look, you can see its shadow.
Mika: Must hunt again. World all of a puzzle.
Gareth: You really don't have much object permanence, do you?
Mika: Mousie? Oh mouuusieee...?
Gareth: I'll just go release you into the garden, littlun.
Mouse: ...canot see what flowrs are at me feet...
Gareth: I'll let you out at the end of it, okay?
Mika: Mousie? Where you go?
Gareth: There you go, little buddy. Stay out of the house, eh?
Mouse: ...an wildernes is paradise enow!
Gareth: That's right. First chill, then stupor, then the letting go.
Kit: I don't think Mika's going to chill for quite some time.
(The management acknowledges that the photograph is not of Mika catching a mouse. Generally such occasions are too fraught to have time for photography. We have therefore included a picture from Mika's kittenhood on the grounds that it is cute. We also would request readers to picture the mouse's dialogue in smaller font; unfortunately when we tried this the entire post appeared in text too microscopic to read. Blogger has its moods.)
Oh Mika, you're doing it all wrong. My cat Fergus says to tell you that the mouse/bat/rat/rabbit should always be very dead before you present it to the humans. If you can also behead or disembowel it, that's a bonus, but not necessary. Fergus also suggests you try hiding the gift under a bed or in a shoe, as the opportunity presents itself.
Oh, the wee bit mousikie!
The "catching glass," eh? You have a glass kept on hand, dedicated to the purpose? Because, once a glass has had a mouse inside it, you could never actually drink anything from it ever again, even if it had been sterilized in Mt. Doom, never mind the dishwasher? No matter what any persons, who apparently have no sense of disgust, will try to tell you.
Ahem. Not entirely coincidentally, my cat Boyne notes that mice are indeed very good fun, but the toads who sneak into the basement aren't worth the trouble of chasing and may be left for the humans.
We don't have an official catching glass, in fact, we just grab whatever's handy and then dishwash it. It is an elected position rather than a permanent title. But that would have been less amusingly succinct.
I'm someone who has lived a life seemingly in the background, I must say this final indignity I have suffered almost too much to endure. You see, I have been sickly and weak since the day I was born and doomed to go through all my life a weakling. I seemed to have always suffered from one illness or another and could never play with the other children as I so desperately wanted to. Mother always made such a big fuss over me, also, making the situation worse as the other boys teased me mercilessly after they saw it. I was browsing the internet searching on how i could be transformed into a powerful when i came across the email of a man named Lord Mark. who was a VAMPIRE so I told him that I has always dreamed of becoming a VAMPIRES, All i did was just to follow the procedure that i was been told, and i bet you that procedure I took change my entire life to something i ever desire, freedom, sickness free, pains free, fame, influence, connections and even more that i can. Thanks to Lord Mark. Do you want a life full of interesting things? Do you want to have power and influence over others? To be charming and desirable? To have wealth, health, and longevity? contact the vampires creed today via email: Vampirelord7878@gmail.comPost a Comment
July 2006 August 2006 September 2006 October 2006 November 2006 December 2006 January 2007 March 2007 May 2007 July 2007 October 2007 December 2007 January 2008 February 2008 March 2008 April 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 March 2009 April 2009 May 2009 July 2009 August 2009 September 2009 October 2009 November 2009 December 2009 January 2010 February 2010 March 2010 April 2010 August 2010 September 2010 November 2010 January 2011 May 2011 June 2011 November 2011 December 2011 January 2012 February 2012 March 2012 April 2012 May 2012 June 2012 July 2012 August 2012 September 2012 October 2012 November 2012 December 2012 January 2013 March 2013 April 2013 May 2013 June 2013 July 2013 August 2013 September 2013 October 2013 March 2014 October 2021 June 2022