Kit: Mika, stop messing with my proofs!
Mika: No.
Kit: Mika, that's enough. You've tried to chew them, to put pawprints on them, to fight them...
Mika: Someday will win, too!
Kit: If I hand in a set of cat-mauled proofs, I'll look very unprofessional.
Mika: If proof is sound, Mika cannot disprove it. Should let Mika expose your so-called proofs to purr review.
Kit: No, Mika, proofs as in proof reading. I'm trying to proof read my novel and you're getting in the way.
Mika: They is gettin in way of you payin attention to Mika.
Kit: I have a deadline, sweetie. This is what pays for your cat food.
Mika: Is not hungry right now, thanks. Prefer to fite paper.
Kit: Mika, this is awkward of you. Reading proofs is hard work even without you chewing them.
Mika: Nibble novel!
Kit: Good girls don't chew my work.
Mika: Is demonstrably untrue. Mika the Good chews your work. Refute your thesis by counter-evidence. You do not understand concept of proof as well as you think.
Kit: Well, one of us doesn't, clearly.
Mika: And can only be you, for Mika is perfect.
Kit: If you don't leave my work alone, I'm going to have to remove you by physical force.
Mika: Weapon of the censor! Burnin is no argument! Hey, put down at once! At once! Hey!
Kit: Go on, go play in the garden.
Mika: Noble Mika is intellectual martyr. Be advised, good peoples of blog, do not buy book of this mean woman.
Very well Mika, your obedient subjects will obey. Kit will be poor. Mika will have to live on Lidl own brand cat food!
ReplyDeleteMika will form breakaway blog. Run massage business. Catch mises. Has no fears for future.
ReplyDeleteMika's massage business relied on high waged merchant bankers. Mika's business model just collapsed! Mika poor! Donalbain mock!
ReplyDeleteMika refers you to decision re ethical businesses.
ReplyDeleteAlso: sssssss.
Donalbain refers you to the facts of economic crisis, leading to less expenditure on things like cat massages!
ReplyDeleteAlso: Lemon peel!
expose your so-called proofs to purr review.
ReplyDeletePunning kittens display a pittance of cunning.
(Today's word verification: "hsumm", which was my comment on viewing the latest Georgia polls.)
Pittance, hapax? Au catraire! A plethora! (Yes, yes, I know, "plethora" doesn't achieve the rhetorical whatsit that the original had. But it's more accurate.)
ReplyDeleteMika, alas, you've been overruled over here in this little neck of the woods--and by a beagle! Sorry about that. Some animals have no sense of rank. But the beagle enjoyed Benighted so much that he'd never forgive me if we missed In Great Waters. (The beagle gets read to as part of his practice for the "Read to the Dog" program: it seems sitting on the special Reading Mat and listening nicely without either wandering off or eating the book requires continual practice.)
Good for the beagle. The dachshunds, of blessed memory, never had the slightest taste for literature.
ReplyDeleteThe cats, who have frequently been forcibly removed from the vicinity of the book, the newspaper, and the keyboard, wish to express their solidarity with their sister in oppression.
The kid and I must buy new novel. But we will just not tell Mika.
ReplyDeleteMika needs a sponsorship deal for true independence from mean woman! Perhaps http://www.jakeandmicah.com/ would consider a name change...
ReplyDeleteyou've got that whole cat mentality thing down perfectly. cats are king. there's no doubt. or queen.
ReplyDeleteFight the power, Mika!
ReplyDeleteBut Kit, it's well established that paper is for chewin'! And prints on the proof are quite professional, I assure you. Must we not show signs of paws for reflection?
ReplyDeleteI really like your work which you have done on your blog. Thanks for providing such great content which is very essential for me. Keep Posting. Meo Cat Food.
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