#2024MakeAMonster
Pet
All right, first day? Fine: welcome to the Illegal Preternatural Pet Trafficking Division. Got your license? Right, right - just let me scry it. Sorry, regulations.
Okay, you're good to go. Now, from the looks of you you're just out of grimoiry, so I'll start you simple. See this? Pet rock container. Open it up - hey, gauntlets on first! All right, all right, I'll put it down to first-day nerves. No, leave the spider-silk; you want old-iron mesh for this. You don't want a nip from these things. All right, open away.
Why the fallen face?
Of course it's a rock. Didn't you read the container?
Oh, you think that's not a problem? Well, let me tell you, since they started crossing pet rocks with hagstones it's been nothing but trouble. Pet rocks from proper breeders are fine - don't need feeding, don't shed, don't bark, don't claw the furniture. People think it's all cool and fashionable to mix in a bit of wild, but I'll tell you, we call wild 'wild' for a reason. Last backyard breeder, we didn't even have to arrest him. Look through a hagstone in the outdoors and you might see the future, but I'll tell you, when I looked through the holes in that guy, I saw my future. Didn't even need the vision to tell me I'm going to be a tired, tired man when I retire.
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