First of all, apologies to Tracy and Jolyon: somehow your request for a charity Mikalogue ended up in my spam filter and I've only just come across it. Tracy: Jolyon has bought you a Mikalogue for Christmas!



Mika: ...Is dreamin of a dry Christmas, just like the ones Mika used to know...

Kit: Do you mean a white Christmas, sweetheart?

Mika: Nope. Is rainin and rainin and rainin Christmas. Need to go out and patrol, but world is throwin water! Not fair.

Kit: Do you really need to go patrol, honey?

Mika: Hasn't Kit heard? Is goin to be foreign invaders!

Kit: Honey, are you getting paranoid again?

Mika: No! Is big spiky cats with horns on heads going to land and eat mince kibbles! Got to patrol! Defcat One!

Kit: Do you mean Santa's reindeer, honey? I think you've got it a bit mixed up.

Mika: Is you cat?

Kit: Well, no.

Mika: Then knows nothin! Territory disputes General Mika the Mighty's province. Got to go and shoo off spiky invaders or will have shame before neighbourhood cats. Make go away!

Kit: Um - General Mika, field scout Kit reporting. It seems there may have been some disinformation spread in recent months concerning reindeer.

Mika: SPY!!!

Kit: What? I'm not a spy!

Mika: Is too! Heard you sayin to Daddy that Santa should come cos you've been good all year.

Kit: Well, I have been soldiering away on rewrites and trying to be a good mum, yes...

Mika: YES! Heard you with big military-issue fluffy ears! You KNOW the clawheads is comin and you pretend otherwise! REPORT YOU! SPY! DOUBLE AGENT KIT! Court martial and stockades! You is for it, spy Kit!

Kit: Er - would you settle for some extra Christmas fish treats instead?

Mika: Ooh, fish treats! Gimme.

Kit: There you go, puss.

Mika: Mmmm. God rest you merry fishy treats let nothing you delay, Remember Mika Mighty Puss must always have her way, And reindeers do not mess with Mika for it doesn't pay, Oh tidings of fishy treats and kibble, fishy treats and kibble, oh gimme more for Mika deserves fishy treats!