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Wednesday, December 09, 2009


Mikalogues In Session

Okay, I admit it: I have been remiss in keeping the blog up to date recently and my last post was about cookies. I'm sorry; I've been going through an intellectual dry spell with nothing particularly fascinating to say.

Mika: Never has fascinating things to say unless about kibble anyway.

Kit: Mika, hush. I'm trying to write a blog post.

Anyway, it's now the season of good cheer and I was...

Mika: Is Mika the fascinating. Mika has blog fans. You just filler between episodes.

Kit: Mika, that hurts my feelings. I'm a professional novelist. I write good blog posts.

Mika: Are they about kibble?

Kit: Not usually, but...

Mika: Mika rests case.

... excuse me. I was thinking that it might be a festive thing to try and ...

Mika: But Mika is festive. Is attractively patterned gold and white and brings cheer whereever goes!

Kit: Yes, darling, that is true, you are a lovely puss.

Mika: So why ignoring?

Kit: Do cats celebrate Christmas?

Mika: Cats celebrate anything that has fish treats in it.

Kit: That's very ecumenical of you, honey.

Mika: Will there be fish treats?

Kit: If you like, pet. Now will you excuse me?

... to try and mark the progress of advent by ...

Mika: How bout some more supper?

Kit: Mika. One, you've had your supper. Two, I'm trying to talk to my public.

Mika: But Mika wants attention! Waaants! WAAAANTSSS!

You know what? I'm going to have to give this up.


The management regret to announce that we have been unable to bring you your regularly scheduled program due to kitty interference. We are therefore providing this substitute:

The Mikalogues In Session

Any reader who wishes to converse with, ask a question of, or make a comment to Mika is invited to do so on this thread. Mika may deign to reply.

Mika: Or not if doesn't feel like.

Dear Mika,

I am writing for some advice in love. To be more specific, rejecting it. Would you please advise me on how to discourage unwanted advances from a suitor? I want him to remain in the "friend zone", so we can work out together, but he needs to stop with the taking it to the next level. Ordinarily I would just reject him outright, but I practice karate, and he's the only fellow student at my level who can do all of the two-person forms in our style. So I can't make him all mad and pouty. Your advice is appreciated.

Selfishly yours,

Anonymous Coward
I'm not going to ask Mika about anything - she probably won't help me to stop worrying about someone who's probably alive and well, just busy, won't tell me what character from The Really Awful Books should I draw next, or where in my own hometown* can I buy a bells that are actually ringing... So instead I'm going to thank you, o Mika, for your existence and for happiness you're bringing to your fans. We love you.

*So, theoretically, I should know better, what with living here and all that...
Anonymous: You purr and say no thank you want neutered relationship. If he doesn't want be friends with Anonymous The Mighty Enough To Appreciate Mika after that, he no good anyway and was never friend. Then you bites him.

Mika acknowledges Redcrow and will not chase despite tempting name.
Oh, and I forgot to tell you, Mika, that I share your approach to holidays.
Is not sharing Mika's fish treats, though. They all Mika's.
Of course.
Thank you O Great Mika!

Anonymous the Mighty
Does Mika eat snails?
Dear Mika,
Your reported conversations with Kit have occasionally referred to your artistic and business endeavors. So I was wondering, is there some area of interest that currently occupies your attention?

also, if I may presume, this is for redcrow.

Very respectfully,
O bounciful Mika, my daughter wonders if you could help her with her physics homework -- how does one determine the spring constant, when one has N springs in series?
Dear Mika,

I was wondering if you could advise me on what the best way is to discourage friendship with someone whom one originally made friendly overtures to but who, on subsequent hangings-out, turned out to be really, really boring.


An entirely different Anonymous Coward
Sniffoy: Mika eats kibble. Snails is for pokin. But is no fun cause too slow. Insecks and mousies and frogs all better. Sniffoy has good name but silly taste in foods.

Amaryllis: World must compete for Mika's attention. When it proves worthy Mika will attend.

Hapax: Spring not supposed to be constant. Is sudden poetry in motion! Springs on mousie and world admires! Mika the mighty!

Anonymousgain: You acts politely busy till takes hint. Does not have to hang out if not want, can always say is doin other things. When appears, go chase leaf or other urgent business. Bore the borer back!

Unless is kibble in it, in which case make up to bore until fed.
Greetings to the mighty Mika!

I'm dealing with a contractor who is, shall we say, a little less useful than we might have hoped. At what point is it appropriate to swat him on the nose with a paw? (Just to get his attention - no claws.) Or would it be better to withhold his kibble?
All hail Mika the Mighty!

I'm staying up late writing papers and studying for exams. Tell me, how long is the ideal catnap? And what is the best way to take it? Where should one do so?
Michael Mock: Swipin is for bad-mannered kitties. To indicate displeasure, give firm but gentle nip with teeth. Kibble withholding depends on whether you has the kibble-for-work contract in writin.

Erl: Humans cannot aspire to elegance of catnap. Is beyond graceless powers.

Is talk of human power nap lasting twenty minutes. Can take it anywhere Mika does not want to sit. Try floor. Do not try Mika's spots: is not as powerful as all that.
May it please Her Mikaship, when may we expect Ms. Whitfield to tell us what she thought of We Have Always Lived in the Castle? Does she agree that the point of the book is, "always feed the cat first"? Is Jonas, as I have always suspected, a representation of the Buddha, who leads Constance and Mary Katherine onto the path of enlightenment?
Mika cannot read and cares for books only in chewin capacity. Kit will not let Mika chew that book so Mika refuses to pass question along.
Mika, you are truly wise.
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