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Wednesday, July 08, 2009


Epic Mikalogue II


Gareth: Is that...?


Gareth: Mika, is that cat we call The Tub back in the house?

Mika: Is. Gonna duff him up!

The Tub: Oh no oh no oh no...


The Tub: Catflap, open! Our hero needs egress!

Mika: You in Mika's house! Mika disapproves.

Gareth: Okay, Tub, I'd better open the door and let you out...

The Tub: Aaggghh! Do not hurt our hero! Escape to higher ground is the only hope!

Gareth: Hey, don't go upstairs, I'm trying to help you.

Mika: Ha! Nah-nah nah-nah nah-nah, my Daddy's gonna pound you...

Gareth: There isn't going to be any pounding. Come on, Tub, let's go.

The Tub: Precarious is the hiding place, and danger looms all around...

Gareth: Get out from under the spare bed.

The Tub: Aagghh! Flee!

Mika: Pow-pow! Take that!

Gareth: Puss, I'm just going to open the door for you. Calm down.

The Tub: Oh no! The giant approaches!

Mika: Gonna kick your butt, too.

The Tub: Fly for the hills!

Gareth: Don't go upstairs agai - oh bugger.

Mika: Get him!

Gareth: Kit? Sorry to wake you, but I need your help.

Kit: Wazzit?

Gareth: The Tub's come in through the one-way catflap again, and every time I try to let him out he runs upstairs. Could you come sit on the stairs and head him off if he tries again?

Kit: Mmph. Okay.

The Tub: Secret and silent our hero preserves his safety...

Gareth: See, there he is behind the table. We just need to get him out.

Kit: You know, he's not as big as we used to think, is he? Mika used to be tiny compared with him.

Gareth: Yeah, he's just fatter. But he's not that big really. Come on, puss puss puss...

Mika: Mika the mighty tracks him down for you, Daddy! Gonna hunt him! Cannot hide for ever, Tub!

Gareth: Puss puss puss ... come on, good boy...

The Tub: Beguiling sounds, but our hero must be wary.

Gareth: Puss puss puss...

The Tub: ...And yet, cat cannot live alone. What stout heart can harden itself for ever against the call of love?

Gareth: Puss puss puss...

The Tub: You not gonna hurt our hero?

Gareth: No.

The Tub: Promise?

Gareth: Promise. That's a good boy.

The Tub: Hm. The giant strokes our hero. Maybe it's safe to creep out - aha, an open door! Our hero tastes freedom!

Mika: And stay out!

Kit: Gosh, Mika's grown a lot.

Mika: Now feed! Feeeed! Is breakfast time!

Gareth: Okay, you're right, Mikatude. I'll get some kibble.

Mika: Mika showed him, huh?

Gareth: Yes, sweetie, you're very big and clever.

Mika: Goway, is eating.

Thrills! Laughs! Twists in the plot! Chase scenes! Kibble!

Why can't all sequels be this good?
The poor Tub. Perhaps an entente cordiale could be reached? (not, of course, to include any sharing of kibble.)

And now I'm wondering-- does anything else ever come in through that cat flap? This epic could become positively hair-raising, or fur-raising. There are worse things than Tubs in this world, maybe even in your garden.

Verification word: micandpu.
Uh, Mika Can Destroy Portly Usurpers?
A cat's life is one of non-stop peril and adventure, it seems! I'm kind of envious.
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