Kit: Ugh, there's grit in the bed!
Mika: 'Sright! You like?
Kit: You did this?
Mika: Course. No need to thank.
Kit: Mika, we don't want grit in our bed.
Mika: But has to do it! Is vocation now.
Kit: How on earth do you figure that?
Mika: Is on earth and linen both. And fine figure of a cat.
Kit: Okay, let's try this again, sweetie: why do you think you have to put earth in the bed?
Mika: Mika is landscape architect, of course. Is relandscaping our home, deconstructing indoor-outdoor dichotomy. Is avant-garde.
Kit: Hang on - you're a landscape architect? What made you think that?
Mika: Daddy works for landscape architects, yes?
Kit: Yes, he does work at an enviromental consultancy firm, but I don't see how that translates to needing earth in our bed.
Mika: You is slow. Is simple syllogism. Daddy's boss is landscape architects. Mika is Daddy's boss. Ergo, Mika is landscape architect.
Kit: That's not a proper syllogism, baby. It would only work if the first premise was 'All Daddy's bosses are landscape architects.' Actually it's just some of Daddy's bosses. You're a separate category. If you used more articles in your sentences you might have spotted that.
Mika: Fie upon your verbal pedantries. Is not grammarian. Is landscape architect and must express creative self. Have decided to begin by moving some earth from garden to bed.
Kit: Mika, we don't want earth in our bed!
Mika: Shh. Is havin creative moment and you is interruptin the Mews. Go away.
Mika, you're missing one vital element of the indoor-outdoor cat equation: the dead bird that you bring so proudly to your parents, only to have them screech at you.
ReplyDeleteIs hard to manage with this dumb bell on neck. Things flies away. Mika blames Kit entirely and is plotting. Just wait till she sees what Mika attach to her neck.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Naomi. I'd also note that after the dead bird should come the not quite dead bird.
ReplyDeleteThough mice work even better for that sort of thing. Or grass snakes.
And grass snakes might not be scared off by the bell.
Mika is a dead ringer for one of my cats, but from the sound of things she's the polar opposite in personality. Mine is quite shy, even with me.
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ReplyDelete