Mika: You has slanderded Mika!

Kit: What's that, sweetie?

Mika: You put up post saying Mika no catch mowze.

Kit: I did, honey. It was true at the time.

Mika: Mika catched mowze! Mizes! Two mizes! Mika the mighty!

Kit: That's true. You did, you clever girl.

Mika: Mika the magnificent!

Kit: I know. You're a good girl to catch the polluting mice.

Mika: Even gave you mowze as present!

Kit: That's true, sweetie, when you were done playing with it you did leave it on the sofa for us.

Mika: You is ungrateful Febreezer.

Kit: No, baby, we really did appreciate the thought. You know how much we love you.

Mika: And does you say on blog at once that Mika the marvellous caught mowze? No! You leaves everyone thinking Mika can't catches mize. You is lying hack.

Kit: Mika! Where did you learn that word?

Mika: Cats in garden teach Mika. I is goin to use your phone and report you.

Kit: Mika, darling, don't be mad. I was just too busy writing blogs about sex and violence.

Mika: Yes. And you spays Mika too, sex writing meanie Kit.

Kit: Mika honey, tom cats have barbs on their genitals. You really don't want any of those.

Mika: Hmf.

Kit: Mika, you're a clever girl, and you've very brave. If I post a retraction, will you forgive me?

Mika: Want fish treat too.

Kit: Of course you can have one.

Mika: Yay! Mika the miraculous!

One thing I love about living near a park is that it can encourage people to get creative. When we went out this morning to enjoy the big, unexpected snowfall, the park was full of people making snowmen. And really, I think you'll agree from these pictures, a pretty superior class of snowmen. The snow pig is created by me and my boyfriend; the others, who knows? Some anonymous South London talents...

(Formatting note: if anyone can tell me how to rotate the images that are lying on their sides, I will do so at once!)